Woke up today
looking through my email
it's all triple x - explicit sex
But I'm not horny

Can't make it stop, the different colored soda pops
striped toe socks, call the cops
I can't take any more

I've got the perfect cell plan with nights and weekends free
All the ringtones that I need
But no one ever calls me

I should paint myself green
Walk around in a red g-string
Cause I just don't fit in
Turn my hat sideways
put a band aid on my face
You know that I....
Wish I could start a trend

Checkin' out and in of the Paris Hilton
Joe Millionaire - he's a has been
Flippin' through a hundred million channels
But I still watch Road Rules
Lose the pounds FLIP
You gotta buy now FLIP
Here's the number to save your soul FLIP
Breaking news...another Michael Jackson scandal

I've got the perfect cell plan with nights and weekends free
More on-peak than I need
But no one ever calls me

I'll wear low rider jeans
Put a barbell through my dingaling
Cause I just don't fit in
Turn my hat sideways
put a band aid on my pretty face
Cause I wish, I know, I could....
I would start a trend

Nana nana na
Nana nana na
Nana nana na

Then there's my girlfriend
She's such a cutie
She'd be a beauty
If she could get an extreme makeover on that booty
I could bend her over and she let me spank it
Take off my jeans
The zipper pinched my dingaling
And I don't really fit in
Throw my hat away
Take that stupid band aid off my face
And I...I wish there were
One more way to tan your skin
a reality show where no one wins
If I would be myself
Then I would start a trend

If I'd just be myself